March Madness
Mar. 18th, 2005 03:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kcobwebSo - things are progressing. We will make it through this!! It will get better!! (These are my mantras.)
She now weighs 6 pounds 9 ounces (as of this afternoon), and is almost back to her birthweight (which is right on schedule - babies typically lose a little weight postpartum, just not as drastically as the EB). Feeding is still an issue (oh gods, am I setting her up for a lifetime of food and body issues already?) - but we're (both) getting better. My milk supply is low, but is steadily increasing with pumping, and she is getting a little better at the eating process. I have become a little bitter about the whole breastfeeding industry - everyone claims "oh it's natural and couldn't be easier" - and for us, it's been nothing but difficulty. The books don't talk about what to do if your baby *won't* breastfeed or your milk isn't coming in fast enough. Seriously, if I didn't know it was better, I would have given up on breasts 12 times over already, because bottles are easier for both of us at this point (less painful, easier for her to feed from, etc.) - but I know in the long run, bottles are a pain, formula is expensive, and the whole thing isn't as ideal. Sigh. Pumping is a bother too - although now I can distract myself during the boring 15 minutes of pumping time with NCAA basketball games - so much better than bad talk shows, syndicated sitcoms or soap operas!
She *is* cute. That's about all I can say thus far. I'm not one of those women who felt a gush of maternal feeling when they first put her on my stomach - I still feel a little detached from her. My mother was saying "oh, I'm worried about you. this is supposed to be a joyous time!" and I'm like "are you on crack?" There is nothing joyous about sleep deprivation and sore breasts and not getting a shower for days on end and feeling trapped by a 3-hour schedule cycle. The real thing is, there's no positive feedback yet - when she first smiles, or even reacts to us, THEN I think I will feel differently. Right now, it's just all on auto-pilot, a little bit. And that's okay, for now.
So, I have to relate a bit of back story for this next item to make sense: My all-time favorite headline from the Weekly World News is "Pregnant woman struck by lightning; now electric baby lights bulbs by touch." Seriously - this was years ago, and I've always remembered it. So when that actually happened to me, we joked about it a bit (in the hospital afterwards, and whatnot). It is, of course, the source for the very nickname of Electric Baby. Well, my sister, in her infinite brilliance, spent the last 7 months since that accident designing and making a cross-stitch with that legend on it - plus a little baby with a light bulb in the corner. And a zig-zag-y lightning-ish border. She presented it to me before she left. It's brilliant. She rocks. It might almost be better than the blue girl power onesies.
The EB is dressed in pink today - she is starting to get gifts, and yes, some of them are pink. I must admit, she is darned darned adorable in pink.
She now weighs 6 pounds 9 ounces (as of this afternoon), and is almost back to her birthweight (which is right on schedule - babies typically lose a little weight postpartum, just not as drastically as the EB). Feeding is still an issue (oh gods, am I setting her up for a lifetime of food and body issues already?) - but we're (both) getting better. My milk supply is low, but is steadily increasing with pumping, and she is getting a little better at the eating process. I have become a little bitter about the whole breastfeeding industry - everyone claims "oh it's natural and couldn't be easier" - and for us, it's been nothing but difficulty. The books don't talk about what to do if your baby *won't* breastfeed or your milk isn't coming in fast enough. Seriously, if I didn't know it was better, I would have given up on breasts 12 times over already, because bottles are easier for both of us at this point (less painful, easier for her to feed from, etc.) - but I know in the long run, bottles are a pain, formula is expensive, and the whole thing isn't as ideal. Sigh. Pumping is a bother too - although now I can distract myself during the boring 15 minutes of pumping time with NCAA basketball games - so much better than bad talk shows, syndicated sitcoms or soap operas!
She *is* cute. That's about all I can say thus far. I'm not one of those women who felt a gush of maternal feeling when they first put her on my stomach - I still feel a little detached from her. My mother was saying "oh, I'm worried about you. this is supposed to be a joyous time!" and I'm like "are you on crack?" There is nothing joyous about sleep deprivation and sore breasts and not getting a shower for days on end and feeling trapped by a 3-hour schedule cycle. The real thing is, there's no positive feedback yet - when she first smiles, or even reacts to us, THEN I think I will feel differently. Right now, it's just all on auto-pilot, a little bit. And that's okay, for now.
So, I have to relate a bit of back story for this next item to make sense: My all-time favorite headline from the Weekly World News is "Pregnant woman struck by lightning; now electric baby lights bulbs by touch." Seriously - this was years ago, and I've always remembered it. So when that actually happened to me, we joked about it a bit (in the hospital afterwards, and whatnot). It is, of course, the source for the very nickname of Electric Baby. Well, my sister, in her infinite brilliance, spent the last 7 months since that accident designing and making a cross-stitch with that legend on it - plus a little baby with a light bulb in the corner. And a zig-zag-y lightning-ish border. She presented it to me before she left. It's brilliant. She rocks. It might almost be better than the blue girl power onesies.
The EB is dressed in pink today - she is starting to get gifts, and yes, some of them are pink. I must admit, she is darned darned adorable in pink.
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-20 12:31 am (UTC)As impossible as it seems right now, you'll get to the point where the EB's needs no longer dominate your every waking moment. You'll be able to integrate her with most of your everyday activities. For me, it took about six weeks, but I think I was coddling myself, and I didn't really know how to break out of the cycle. Hang in there!