March Madness
Mar. 18th, 2005 03:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
So - things are progressing. We will make it through this!! It will get better!! (These are my mantras.)
She now weighs 6 pounds 9 ounces (as of this afternoon), and is almost back to her birthweight (which is right on schedule - babies typically lose a little weight postpartum, just not as drastically as the EB). Feeding is still an issue (oh gods, am I setting her up for a lifetime of food and body issues already?) - but we're (both) getting better. My milk supply is low, but is steadily increasing with pumping, and she is getting a little better at the eating process. I have become a little bitter about the whole breastfeeding industry - everyone claims "oh it's natural and couldn't be easier" - and for us, it's been nothing but difficulty. The books don't talk about what to do if your baby *won't* breastfeed or your milk isn't coming in fast enough. Seriously, if I didn't know it was better, I would have given up on breasts 12 times over already, because bottles are easier for both of us at this point (less painful, easier for her to feed from, etc.) - but I know in the long run, bottles are a pain, formula is expensive, and the whole thing isn't as ideal. Sigh. Pumping is a bother too - although now I can distract myself during the boring 15 minutes of pumping time with NCAA basketball games - so much better than bad talk shows, syndicated sitcoms or soap operas!
She *is* cute. That's about all I can say thus far. I'm not one of those women who felt a gush of maternal feeling when they first put her on my stomach - I still feel a little detached from her. My mother was saying "oh, I'm worried about you. this is supposed to be a joyous time!" and I'm like "are you on crack?" There is nothing joyous about sleep deprivation and sore breasts and not getting a shower for days on end and feeling trapped by a 3-hour schedule cycle. The real thing is, there's no positive feedback yet - when she first smiles, or even reacts to us, THEN I think I will feel differently. Right now, it's just all on auto-pilot, a little bit. And that's okay, for now.
So, I have to relate a bit of back story for this next item to make sense: My all-time favorite headline from the Weekly World News is "Pregnant woman struck by lightning; now electric baby lights bulbs by touch." Seriously - this was years ago, and I've always remembered it. So when that actually happened to me, we joked about it a bit (in the hospital afterwards, and whatnot). It is, of course, the source for the very nickname of Electric Baby. Well, my sister, in her infinite brilliance, spent the last 7 months since that accident designing and making a cross-stitch with that legend on it - plus a little baby with a light bulb in the corner. And a zig-zag-y lightning-ish border. She presented it to me before she left. It's brilliant. She rocks. It might almost be better than the blue girl power onesies.
The EB is dressed in pink today - she is starting to get gifts, and yes, some of them are pink. I must admit, she is darned darned adorable in pink.
She now weighs 6 pounds 9 ounces (as of this afternoon), and is almost back to her birthweight (which is right on schedule - babies typically lose a little weight postpartum, just not as drastically as the EB). Feeding is still an issue (oh gods, am I setting her up for a lifetime of food and body issues already?) - but we're (both) getting better. My milk supply is low, but is steadily increasing with pumping, and she is getting a little better at the eating process. I have become a little bitter about the whole breastfeeding industry - everyone claims "oh it's natural and couldn't be easier" - and for us, it's been nothing but difficulty. The books don't talk about what to do if your baby *won't* breastfeed or your milk isn't coming in fast enough. Seriously, if I didn't know it was better, I would have given up on breasts 12 times over already, because bottles are easier for both of us at this point (less painful, easier for her to feed from, etc.) - but I know in the long run, bottles are a pain, formula is expensive, and the whole thing isn't as ideal. Sigh. Pumping is a bother too - although now I can distract myself during the boring 15 minutes of pumping time with NCAA basketball games - so much better than bad talk shows, syndicated sitcoms or soap operas!
She *is* cute. That's about all I can say thus far. I'm not one of those women who felt a gush of maternal feeling when they first put her on my stomach - I still feel a little detached from her. My mother was saying "oh, I'm worried about you. this is supposed to be a joyous time!" and I'm like "are you on crack?" There is nothing joyous about sleep deprivation and sore breasts and not getting a shower for days on end and feeling trapped by a 3-hour schedule cycle. The real thing is, there's no positive feedback yet - when she first smiles, or even reacts to us, THEN I think I will feel differently. Right now, it's just all on auto-pilot, a little bit. And that's okay, for now.
So, I have to relate a bit of back story for this next item to make sense: My all-time favorite headline from the Weekly World News is "Pregnant woman struck by lightning; now electric baby lights bulbs by touch." Seriously - this was years ago, and I've always remembered it. So when that actually happened to me, we joked about it a bit (in the hospital afterwards, and whatnot). It is, of course, the source for the very nickname of Electric Baby. Well, my sister, in her infinite brilliance, spent the last 7 months since that accident designing and making a cross-stitch with that legend on it - plus a little baby with a light bulb in the corner. And a zig-zag-y lightning-ish border. She presented it to me before she left. It's brilliant. She rocks. It might almost be better than the blue girl power onesies.
The EB is dressed in pink today - she is starting to get gifts, and yes, some of them are pink. I must admit, she is darned darned adorable in pink.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 11:12 pm (UTC)I've had other friends who only fell in love with their babies after some time had passed. It turns out just fine.
I think your mom must be on crack, or at least on a haze of happy 25-year-old memories. Everyone says the first few weeks are incredibly hard. 85% of women get the baby blues in the first few days and weeks. It's not "a joyous time" when you're living it.
Hang in there! I'm sure you and Elena will come through this rocky spell very soon.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 11:34 pm (UTC)And breastfeeding is so hard (http://www.livejournal.com/users/journeywoman/17773.html) the first few weeks. All the books are totallyworthless--no decent advice, and they make you feel like a moron on top of it. I wanted to give up on nursing many times (like, at every feeding) but I'd promised myself to try it for a month. Now, four months into it, I actually like it. I never thought I'd say that.
My mother and my stepmother-in-law also have selective memories when it comes to baby-raising. Try to tune the unhelpful stuff out.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 02:05 am (UTC)That's the kind of helpful deadline I can live with.
Now, four months into it, I actually like it.
That's comforting to hear too. We've been going to the lactation consultant every few days - to weigh the EB and get tips/advice. Every time, she tells me I'm doing everything right and we're on our way - and it makes me feel so much better. I have threatened to just go there for every single feeding, because the feedings always go so well at her office. If only she were there at 3 a.m. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:26 pm (UTC)I remember whe a close friend of mine up in Montreal had her first baby, and she called up my mother for breastfeeding advice. It's embarrassing enough when your mother shows your friends baby pictures of you; hearing her tell them lactation stories about you is in a class by itself.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 11:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 02:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-20 12:15 am (UTC)I don't follow college basketball myself, ordinarily, but I always enjoy betting in my husband's office pool.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 12:09 am (UTC)I'm sorry you're still having trouble adjusting to the breastfeeding. I can't claim to have any experience that way, but I can see how frustrated you are with something you had expected so much more from, and were so committed to--I do hope things continue to improve.
*hugs* to you all
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 12:45 am (UTC)I can totally see how this part would be absurdly hard. I'm kind of awed by y'all, honestly.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-20 12:31 am (UTC)As impossible as it seems right now, you'll get to the point where the EB's needs no longer dominate your every waking moment. You'll be able to integrate her with most of your everyday activities. For me, it took about six weeks, but I think I was coddling myself, and I didn't really know how to break out of the cycle. Hang in there!