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I'm being rather calm about the whole election debacle, but there is one tiny bizarre aspect that is nagging at me. A very personal thing.
My friend Mary worked for the Sierra Club in Albuquerque, and they had lent her (body and soul) to the Kerry campaign for the duration of the election season. The first weekend in August, meeting up with all of us in Colorado, was her last possible chance at a vacation - she wouldn't even be allowed to take off Labor Day - before November 2nd.
And then, she was killed that weekend.
The week after her death, when we were all still trying to process the unfathomability of the whole thing, her ex-boyfriend said to me, "What if... What if New Mexico remains a swing state, and is the deciding factor in the election, and if she were still alive, she would have been able to convince just enough people to vote for Kerry to be enough to push it over...." And I told him to stop right there and shut up, because I didn't think I needed to pursue that line of reasoning. (And neither did he.)
One of the things that broke my heart about her death and the timing of it was that she wouldn't be here for the election - she wouldn't know how it turned out. (This would have driven her nuts - maybe it is for the best.)
But since August, every time New Mexico has been mentioned as a swing state, my heart has clenched in my chest, and I can't bear to think of it. I just can't go there, mentally.
I almost couldn't look at the electoral map tonight, and then I made myself do it.
And now, according to MSNBC, New Mexico is still too close to call, although Bush is ahead by 1%.
And even though Ohio was the deciding factor, and New Mexico's electoral votes can't sway things one way or 'tother - it still hurts.
(I recognize that this is a bit of a trigger for me. I've been thinking about triggers lately: I have a few for my accident, and any mention of New Mexico - in any context, but particularly the political - is one. CPR is another, and well, lightning in general.)
My friend Mary worked for the Sierra Club in Albuquerque, and they had lent her (body and soul) to the Kerry campaign for the duration of the election season. The first weekend in August, meeting up with all of us in Colorado, was her last possible chance at a vacation - she wouldn't even be allowed to take off Labor Day - before November 2nd.
And then, she was killed that weekend.
The week after her death, when we were all still trying to process the unfathomability of the whole thing, her ex-boyfriend said to me, "What if... What if New Mexico remains a swing state, and is the deciding factor in the election, and if she were still alive, she would have been able to convince just enough people to vote for Kerry to be enough to push it over...." And I told him to stop right there and shut up, because I didn't think I needed to pursue that line of reasoning. (And neither did he.)
One of the things that broke my heart about her death and the timing of it was that she wouldn't be here for the election - she wouldn't know how it turned out. (This would have driven her nuts - maybe it is for the best.)
But since August, every time New Mexico has been mentioned as a swing state, my heart has clenched in my chest, and I can't bear to think of it. I just can't go there, mentally.
I almost couldn't look at the electoral map tonight, and then I made myself do it.
And now, according to MSNBC, New Mexico is still too close to call, although Bush is ahead by 1%.
And even though Ohio was the deciding factor, and New Mexico's electoral votes can't sway things one way or 'tother - it still hurts.
(I recognize that this is a bit of a trigger for me. I've been thinking about triggers lately: I have a few for my accident, and any mention of New Mexico - in any context, but particularly the political - is one. CPR is another, and well, lightning in general.)
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Again, my sympathies.