But selfishness in a parent is always automatically bad....

I actually think that not wanting a second child for selfish reasons would be a *good* thing - I mean, it's better than having a child whom you're going to neglect while you're out selfishly gallivanting.

But then, I think of selfishness as something that can manifest itself postively - I think it's important to be able to say "look, I can't do this for you/be there for you/whatever - for my own selfish reasons, because it's more important that I take care of myself right now." It's just a shame that we have to see taking care of our selves as "selfish", with all those bad connotations.