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I may have gotten the EB to go to sleep. I tricked her into thinking we might go for a walk, and while I was putting on my shoes, she quieted down, and may actually be sleeping. Can't believe it, really. She also slept for large swaths of last night. Hours at a stretch. I'm not enough of a fool to think this will last. But I will enjoy it for now.... (Oooops, she's still fussing and not quite asleep.) Not to brag - because I know I'm not supposed to - but I weighed myself yesterday, and I actually weigh about 5 pounds less than when I got pregnant. I can't believe it myself, though it actually reinforces my belief that the EB was just a little parasite, and sucked away at my inner essence throughout the pregnancy (and that is why I had such low weight gain). I am actually wearing real jeans today - they have a zipper! and pockets! and no stretchy panel! Unless you have worn maternity clothes for months on end, you cannot imagine how nice this is. These jeans were relatively loose before, and are now slightly tight - my waistline is still not quite there - but they are on my body and have been for several hours. Part of this whole weight thing may be that because I'm mostly staying in the house, I have limited access to junk food, and therefore, I'm probably eating better than my usual inclination. For the other possible reason, I will refer to last night's rerun of Sex and the City on TBS, in which Miranda realizes she fits into her skinny jeans for the first time since 1985 because as a single mother, she no longer has time to eat. Maybe it's a combination of both these elements. Okay. I don't think the EB is asleep. But I don't want to go in her room to check, for fear I'll wake her up. :)
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Birth story, long and graphic TMI )

Definitely exhausted, definitely running on adrenalin still. But we’re making it. :)
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I am currently obsessed with the [livejournal.com profile] crochet and [livejournal.com profile] march2005 communities. Everyone in [livejournal.com profile] march2005 is in the same boat I am, fielding a million daily phone calls which are all answered with "Yup, still here. Nope, still pregnant."

I am having a burst of energy this morning - maybe it's my body's way of telling me to finish up some projects (like folding socks) while I still can. Hopefully that's what it is.

I'm really trying to remain Zen about the whole thing (it will happen when it happens, etc etc). But it is difficult. My mother in particular is just wound up to a fever pitch and going to explode soon if it doesn't come soon. She is really really impatient and excited. My dad is generally calmer (and more helpful to maintaining the whole Zen thing).

I did get The. Cutest. Baby Blanket. EVER yesterday from an old roommate, who learned to crochet with me. It's gorgeous and it's also so exciting to have a blanket I didn't make myself.... :) It's very soft and yellow and I need to sit down and look closely at it and figure out how she did it. A co-worker has made me a quilt too, I know, but I don't have that yet. She does beautiful work, so I'm looking forward to seeing what she has made.

And well, I want the baby to get here. I want to meet her.
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Still here, still pregnant.

Waiting is hard. :) I mean, that's basically all I'm doing now, is waiting.

I did have some lovely Thai food last night - red curry with chicken. If everyone's going to tell me to eat spicy foods, I'm going to have all my favorites in the next few days. I'm debating if we should go out tonight for something spicy and yummy, and if so, where. (I don't feel much like cooking anyway, so it's a double-good reason to go out.)

My prediction: this weekend sometime. Anywhere from Friday through Monday. We'll see.
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So the phone just rang, and I answered it, and a woman asked for me. Then said "This is ____ from Justice Court, and you've been selected for jury duty for Friday March 4th."

I just started laughing. Couldn't help it. I explained that I am 40 weeks pregnant, and today is my due date.

There was a pause, and then she said "Well, I guess we don't want you going into labor in court. Okay, thanks." And hung up.

I've never served jury duty - though I'd be willing - but as an excuse, this has to take the cake. :)

I'm still laughing.
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My mother called me on her cell phone on her way home tonight to tell me that we should have lots of sex to bring on labor. Thanks, Mom, but I don't really want to be having this conversation with you. :) The line that really made me squirm was "Well, you've been resting up all day, so you should be good for a couple of hours." Ummm... ewwwww. She wouldn't tell [livejournal.com profile] galagan this herself, however - he had to pass the phone to me first.

Everyone's calling to check up on me, quite often. My mother is especially impatient for her first grandchild. She is busy trying to come up with ideas (like the above) to help labor get started. Her first phone call this evening started with "well, this baby will be late, just like you were." Never mind that my due date isn't even till tomorrow - she just can't stand it even till then. (I reminded her that only 4-5% of women give birth on their actual due dates. She didn't care.)
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So - just back from the appointment. No real news ) So - I'm still in limbo-land. Any day now, and things could change on a dime.

She did suggest that we go out for Mexican food again - having seen us at a Mexican place the other night. So, I'm planning my eating-out (well, maybe some eating-in) schedule for the next week: Mexican, Chinese, Japanese-Korean (we have one restaurant here that's both), Indian.... Any other ideas? We have limited options here in the whitebread world of the inland west (for example, no Indian options - we'd have to make our own), but it's fun to contemplate.
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So - I slept all weekend. It felt fabulous. It was amazing how much I could sleep, and still yawn my head off a few hours later.

Yesterday I had a busy and productive day of simple errands and puttering about the house.

Today, my second day of no work, I had a rip-roaring dream about all the work issues I left behind.... but when I woke up, I wasn't upset about it like I would have been if I were still *at* work. So that's okay too.

I go to the doctor in about an hour. We'll see what she has to say. I have had only a few contractions (one of which hurt like the dickens, I must say) - usually one every few days, so certainly nothing with a pattern to it yet. Otherwise it's just been the same occasional mild cramping.

It's.... weird being in this place. My Official Due Date (which of course, means nothing) is tomorrow. I feel like I'm in the biggest limbo of all - just *waiting*, with no sense of how long it might be. And that's mostly okay too. Just a little strange. Not quite melancholy, but... contemplative, certainly.
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So, um. I'm all done. No more work. I'm officially on maternity leave. Wow.

It's a weird feeling: freeing and anti-climactic (much like finishing college was, perhaps?) and sad and happy..... (Much like my feelings about work in general these days.) It's so bizarre to have NOTHING on my schedule for the forseeable future. I have lunch dates for Monday and Thursday. A doctor's appointment Tuesday.

I do have a list of projects I can work on to keep me from getting bored (many are very open-ended, like "crocheting"). And plenty of books to read. I plan to treat any time between right now and... whenever the Electric Baby decides to get here, as a vacation pure and simple - for relaxing and resting up and making final preparations. Maybe now that I'm done with work, I can finally get some decent sleep - work stress and pressure won't be keeping me awake anyway.

My coworkers have all been speculating as to when I will deliver (there was talk of an office pool, but I don't think anyone has organized anything yet). Most people think I'll go late, which I believe as well. *My* prediction? I think it will be next weekend, at the earliest. Again, just my gut instinct.
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I almost forgot - my mom rocks, in her sentimental way. Last night she gave me a few things which were originally mine.

#1 - a little frilly pink outfit which *I* wore home from the hospital in my turn - little dress, tights, bonnet and blanket. It's not particularly warm, but if it worked in Michigan in December, it'll do for Montana in March. Or, you know, we'll just layer it under multiple other blankets if it turns cold again.

#2 - a gorgeous little baby sweater which she made for me - it's a green and blue yarn and so cute!!!

I can't believe she saved these things for 32 years, and now I get to use them.

The pink outfit I'll definitely save for my sister's turn too (assuming she has children; assuming she has a girl - because this is VERY girly, even by my standards). It's not fair that I get all these things just because I'm first.

Yes, I'm thinking about outfits for coming home from the hospital. Yikes. When we're watching TV, [livejournal.com profile] galagan keeps noticing ads for movies which will be shown on TV after my due date. Double yikes.
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My due date is 9 days away. Nine. Like, single digits. How did that number get so small?

But I just had this week's doctor appointment, and based on what she said, unless things start changing very quickly, I shouldn't fixate on that 9. [livejournal.com profile] galagan told her that the entire family thinks I'm looking noticeably bigger this week, which totally cracked her up - she said "That's so funny, I think I might have to write it in the chart: 'Family reports...'". I'm still dilated a centimeter. My cervix is long and not thinning out, but is slightly lower than last week, so the baby has dropped a bit. She did mention the I word (that would be, Induction) - though only to say that we wouldn't consider induction until 41 1/2 weeks. So that's a ways off yet. (My gut tells me that I will go past my due date, but not so far past that I need inducing. Again, based on nothing more than my instinct.)

Yes, I'm a little physically uncomfortable, generally speaking. And my maternity leave starts a week from today. But I'm not in a terrible hurry - yet - to get this baby out of me. As someone put it the other day, once it's out, then I have to take care of it, and watch it all the time, and all that. :) Suddenly, a uterus seems like a fabulous method of childcare - you don't have to pay that much attention, and yet still know that your child is receiving reasonably good care.

Meanwhile - it's still relatively early in the day, and it's a holiday so I have the day off. Yay! There will be tasks getting ready for baby, moving around of possessions (everything in the house is getting rearranged, it seems), and soup-making. Plus crocheting and reading, if I can manage to squeeze those in. Woohoo.
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The Love Wife, by Gish Jen. I really liked this, particularly the narrative structure, which gives you a multitude of simultaneous voices and perspectives. That definitely added lots of layers to the story. About Chinese-Americans, and Chinese immigrants, and blended families. The end was a little non-specific, which always bugs me - I like endings that are a tad more definitive, so I'm not always wondering, "but what happened to them?", but that's just because I'm old-fashioned.

Feeling weird today, physically speaking. Very tired - left work rather early. I had one or two things that may or may not have been contractions - since they were *12 hours* apart, I'm not worried about anything (like labor) happening yet. Still - I'm just kind of blah and yucky and feel like hibernating. We just watched Zoolander on TV (I'd seen bits of it before, but never the whole thing all together), and I worked on crocheting my blanket. Now I think I'll get in bed and read my next book.

And - we have a 3-day weekend! Woohoo!
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I had my 38-week doctor's appointment today )

Speaking of the Sister! She has made plane reservations, and will be here March 8th through March 15th. By which time I'll have a *baby*. And that's only 3 weeks away. Holy crap. (While the Sister is here, my parents will both be working quite a bit - my mother's a CPA, so it's a given for her in spring - and I *won't* be, so I'll get to see a lot of her - double yay!!!

Yes, I'm still marvelling at - and trying to fully comprehend - the fact that this pregnancy will have an end result.... and I'll take it (i.e. her) home with me for the next 20 or so years.

Ahem. 6 more workdays!! Woohoo!!
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I'm feeling so much better than yesterday. Thanks to all for your hugs and comforts and whatnot.

I may need lots more of that stuff as I enter the upcoming unknown territory of *parenthood*. Ack. Scary. I'm going to totally responsible for a helpless being, and have to make sure she's happy and well cared for and all that. Yes, I think I'm capable of achieving that, or I never would have started this process - but I'm still a little intimidated by the idea as a whole.

Anyway - today was a day I was dreading very very much, and it went off mostly without a hitch. Our office is moving, and there were movers today, so I mostly sat around until I heard one of them say "where is That Lady?" (apparently my official name for the day) - and I'd go see what they needed (generally the question was "Does this go?" for the first part of the day - moving out - and then "Where do you want this?" for the second part - moving in to the new space). I had measured and remeasured everything about 50 million times, so everything mostly worked, with two small exceptions - one of which they figured out, and for the other I quickly came up with an alternate solution. Phew. What an enormous huge relief.

Then I got to take some teens I work with down to a local TV station where they were interviewed for their teen perspective on sex among teens and stuff. They were fucking brilliant and *so* articulate and well-spoken and I love them all to pieces and bits. I wanted to jump up and down several times with glee - but figured I should keep it check in front of the reporter and cameraman. Okay, yeah, this is the part of my job that I really really dig. (And I just have 8 work days left until my leave starts..... Wow.)

I'm feeling better physically too - just a few moments of random crampiness. I'm definitely taking it easy tonight - and every night from now on, really - I was thinking about making some cookies, and watching TV and crocheting my blanket and reading. I think I can handle all that.
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Okay, it's happening. I'm getting gritchy and uncomfortable and crabby all the time. Discomfort in so many ways, so many directions. I have a to-do list longer than my arm, and got just a few items crossed off today - because I just get tired so quickly. I shouldn't complain - in general, for an 8-and-a-half months pregnant woman, I am WEE and tiny, and can't even begin to imagine how unhappy I'd be if I were, well... so much bigger. (Everywhere I go, people are saying things like "well, you're finally starting to look pregnant!" Gee, isn't it about time?) My belly aches in weird places - across the top of my abdomen where it pooches out being the most common. My back is hurting today. I slept on my neck wrong.... I am finally at the place where I cannot ignore - even for half a second - that I am quite pregnant.

And yes, I know to take care of myself, and to take it easy. I'm doing much better in that department.

I have a small handful of things at work this week for which I am basically necessary and indispensable, and once I get through next Friday, I don't care at all about what happens after that. (I may not be happy with my workplace right now, but that doesn't mean I want to screw them over or leave them high and dry.)

I don't feel ready yet, of course - that's the other reason I don't want the Electric Baby to come early - but we are making progress by leaps and bounds in that department! The furniture is mostly in the baby's room, though not in the positions it will likely end up. The diaper thingy is set up; the glider chair is assembled (man, do those things rock - I already love it like a madwoman); there's a mobile on the crib. The clothes, towels and other sundries that go in the washer have been laundered today - now I can start putting things away. All this goes a long way toward making me feel ready. (See, and I said I got nothing done today, but a good chunk of this stuff was today, so pay no attention to me. I lie.)

And in a coupla weeks, there's gonna be a *baby* here. I still have trouble dealing with the reality of that.
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My mother and I are going shopping tomorrow for Baby Gear (eeep - it's only 19 days till my due date! How did that happen?), and so tonight I got out every bit of baby stuff we've gotten, bought or received. Lay it all out, count up how many onesies, and how many footed sleepers, and how many itty bitty socks.... We have some damn cute stuff, that's what I am discovering. I hope our child looks good in mint green and yellow, because there's a decent amount of that color scheme predominating. And an odd giraffe theme emerging. Is this a sign she'll be tall and thin? (Neither of us are, particularly, but she could be a throwback or something.)

But I'm wallowing in the cuteness. Which is good - I don't get into the cute very often. :)

....Ah, the weekend is here. Bliss.
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I am having a difficult evening. I'm just uncomfortable, very fundamentally. And I'm TINY still - how do hugely pregnant women do it? My rib cage hurts, my lower belly hurts, my back hurts, I'm out of breath, and gassy and burpy. This does not bode well for sleeping tonight, I should note. AGAIN. I'm definitely not ready to have the baby get here, but I'm getting toward the point of being done with pregnancy.

I do go to the doctor tomorrow - but I suspect she'll just say it's all normal.

I just don't know how I'm going to get through the next few weeks. I come home and I'm exhausted. I had great plans for my evening, and a mental list of all the things I would get done, and I've done none of them. I watched TV and worked on the embroidery project which might get hung in the baby's room. Which is a good thing, but I do have other more pressing stuff to do. Only it involves standing and moving around, which I just don't feel capable of.

I have set a date to go on maternity leave though - two weeks from Friday will be my last workday. I just couldn't handle the uncertainty of working right up till.... whenever (which was the original plan). Based on the way I'm feeling tonight, I'm glad I did that. (I only hope I can hold out that long.) I may start leaving early in the afternoons, I think - because I need to. Otherwise, I don't think I can make it. (I may just be feeling sorry for myself right now - I've been going along so well, and things are just hitting me like a ton of bricks suddenly, and I might not be coping as well as I could. That's okay too. If there were ever a time to take care of myself and nurture and coddle... well, this is it. Eight months pregnant might as well be good for something.)

In other amusing and totally coincidental news, I discovered that a high school classmate of mine works with [livejournal.com profile] ellinor. Wacky. I didn't know her well - but she always seemed like one of those people it would be cool to get to know. Anyway - big coinkydink. My world is getting smaller. :)

Okay. I'm tired. I'm going to take my new Glamour magazine and go to bed. That will make me feel better if nothing else will. :)

Got loot?

Feb. 6th, 2005 05:17 pm
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I had my baby shower this morning! My mom's best friend - who threw me a bridal shower - did it again, and it was actually very similar to the last one (a lot of the same people were there, even).

the haul )

Anyway - it was a lovely brunch, and everyone there got along great (a mix of my friends and my mom's, so they don't all necessarily know each other). One other woman there is also pregnant, and scheduled to have a C-section on Friday, so she and I compared notes a lot ("have you had this happen?"). Otherwise, everyone there has had kids (and some have grandkids), so there were lots of pregnancy, delivery and new baby stories going around the table. Very relaxed and fun.

The other good news is that while we were at the shower, [livejournal.com profile] galagan went and picked up our changing table and crib, and by the time Mom and I got back to the house, he had everything in the room and assembled and was trying to figure out how to raise and lower the side. We are discussing room layout - various pros and cons - but it's going to be very cute, I think. It's a perfect baby room, I think. There is a built-in closet and drawers, so there is plenty of storage space for all the little socks and onesies. :)

Whee - this is getting close. But we're kind of getting to the exciting part. :)
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one month to go! )

I went errand-running this afternoon, and bought mucho cheap yarn, on sale at various places. I saw a clever newborn baby outfit at the drugstore of all places, but resisted (it was convertible, in fact: it's a gown! No, it's a sleeper with legs!). I'll go back and buy it next week, I think.... :) My baby shower is Sunday. Several people have mentioned to me how excited they are to get to shopping for baby things for me. *grin*

Yarn. Must go obsess over my yarn purchases. Mmmmm.
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Another Hammer of Clue Pregnancy Dream: this one seems to suggest that I'm feeling vulnerable and/or violated. Maybe pushed too far. I can't imagine, yet again, where this could come from.

One wakes up from these dreams (HoCPD? awkward acronym...), thinking "You don't say? Really????"

Between pregnancy insomnia and work insomnia, I'm not sleeping too well this week. If this is the body's way of preparing you for the coming of the baby, well, I don't think too much of it. Everyone says "oh, get as much sleep now while you can before the baby gets here." Yeah right. I'd love to, but it just ain't happening.


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